homecoming

we survived. i wasn't sure. this all began a few weeks ago and culminated in the event of my daughters first homecoming dance/car date. when i say it built up over the last several weeks i mean we had several conversations concerning plans, clothes, who was driving, where they were going. the time they were to arrive home, my time was set in stone and it was not 8:30 as some would think. so with negotiations finished and all well understood we drove our first born daughter to his parents house for the picture session that will help identify the body later if nessassary. it was during the drive that it began to set in my mind that this woman was the tiny baby i once held in my arms and always remember her foot was just the same size as my thumb, which i was looking at when i heard from the back seat, 'why are we driving so slow', what can i say once you realize that there is fast coming a time that will change things a little forever, you want to drive the speed limit if not slower. she was and is beautiful and had a wonderful time. they got home safe and sound a half hour early. she is growing up and will one day be moving on, all is right in the world but lets go the speed limit, no need to rush.

musing

just sitting here thinking about stuff. not deep stuff just stuff. like how i seem to think i can get all bent out of shape when i feel betrayed, hurt or abused. i know you are supposed to feel that way pschologicly speaking but truthfully i gave away my rights when i took on the label of Christian. if am gonna be a little Jesus i have to act, live and feel like Him. i never read in the bible or any other commentary that He ever felt the things that i am plagued by. it does say that He knows are pains and sorrows, He lived here in flesh, He knows that those things come up and He had huge reason to be angry or hurt... it is never written that He even acknowleged those, He wept with a family that lost its brother, he got angry with the money changers. He never tore into anyone who failed Him. He even gave peter the chance proclaim his love for Jesus the same number of times that peter failed Him. man, i have a lot to learn. i think i'm in good company, we all have a lot to learn.

here we are again. i have a whole new issue. my oldest daughter now has a boyfriend. the first. i do well usually, did the whole threaten his life thing, prayed before i allowed it. oh yes he had to ask me before he asked her. i try to protect my kids as much as i can. i feel a little like i did when she first went to school, a little helpless. i know we did our best and i even taught her the key spots to hit on a boy, but i can't help but feel that she is out there and there is nothing i can do to prevent what i am sure will eventually come. the last time i felt this God reminded me that he is the one who really protects her and he has never failed or stopped. somehow i can find peace in this. he really is a good guy. God is speaking n his life too. i hope you can trust him to protect your life too. thanks for listening.

ministry is messy

one of the things that they don't really teach you in bible college is that ministry is messy. they mention it but they can't really give you the full scope of the mess. over the last month or so we have had a large helping of the messiness of ministry. we have had the awesome opportunity to wade into peoples live and help in some way or another. last wednesday we had our usual youth service with all the usual and unusual mess and God moved! we pray and fast and pray some more for Him to touch these kids in a way that is real and this week He did. He touch lives, He touched hearts and the kids responded. i don't care how long you've been doing this or how many times you have seen Him work in kids lives it still blows me away. i hope it does you to. i know it does Gods heart.

i'm back. sorry for the large gap in my posts, life got in the way of blogs so you see what lost. part of my change of view. i don't know about you but there was a time when this stuff would have caused me to stay up til later than i needed to finish this and do it everyday. today i have time so i'm writing with my four year old on my lap. i hope you can find a way to slow down your life to find the things that really matter. God has a way in my life of allowing me to slow down myself then when i don't He 'helps' me, it's so much less painful if i do it before the help comes. remember that, be wise and learn from that, i'm pretty sure if He helps me He's gonna help you to. slow down so you don't miss the great things like blogging with your little ones.

change

sorry blogging is more involved than i thought. i have opened the response thing so anyone can respond. i'm trying to learn. i'll write more later. God bless.

whats up

whats up? i ask it all the time. it's some search for something more interesting than what i'm doing. what can i say i'm human so are you. why can't we just be happy with what we are doing. i find myself looking on to the next thing instead of just being in the moment. i am sure that Jesus spent His life fully in the moment, i want to be like that. like right now i'm listening to music trying to write here and having the kids pull at me. all are good things but i cannot do all of them well together, i need to learn to find the best thing and do that and let the other stuff fall. i pray you and i find the best thing and focus on that.